I thought about adding this as an addendum or clarification to my last post (“Touches, Friction, Efficiency, Love”), but then I thought I’d just create a new post and keep going with it. The Experts in the World of Bloggification say that posts should only be so long. At least I think they do. I’ve heard rumors.
I was thinking further about the fact that tech can be, and should be, a tool that’s there to serve when I reach for it, and that tech is valuable for reaching out and cultivating relationships, and that I wrote that previous post on my device so others could read it on theirs, etc., etc. All those things I conceded along the way.
And here’s where it’s led me now…
It’s not the “tech” in those “tech touches” that’s the problem. It’s the kind of touches they are. As I said, the kind that grind away and wear down instead of reaching out and nurturing relationships.
And it needs to be said, the same is true of non-tech touches. It’s easy to idealize going out for ice cream and putting your phone away, or getting together for coffee and making eye contact, but the fact is we can reach out to others like that and spend time with them in ways that grind away and wear down. Just because I’m looking at the other person and we’re not looking at our screens—that doesn’t guarantee that it’s a worthwhile and edifying touch. Frankly, it could be a waste of time, a deliberate distraction, a relationship that’s sucking me dry, and I’d be better off spending that time writing an email to a different friend or crafting a thoughtful blog post!
All that to say, it’s easy to make tech into the whipping boy, the bogey man. It’s harder to have to stop and think and evaluate all of our touches, however tech-tinged. But often it’s what’s harder that’s true.
Anyway, just thought I’d clarify. In a (hopefully thoughtful) follow-up blog post.