I went to see “A Star Is Born” (I mean, the latest iteration; not the Judy Garland version) on a Monday morning. Gotta love the weekday matinée. I think there were maybe three of us in the theater. And this was pre-COVID, of course.
And that movie wrecked me, and thrilled me, and inspired me. I loved how Lady Gaga could act, and Bradley Cooper could sing. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to watch it again. It hit me too hard. I still need time.
As an amateur songwriter myself, there was a lot in it that grabbed me. Especially a moment early on, when their two characters are just getting to know one another.
Jackson says to Ally, “Can I ask you a personal question?”
(This is in the trailer, by the way. I’m not spoiling anything.)
And when he says that, you’re thinking, Oh dude, careful now. You’ve just met. Where you going with this?
You’re bracing yourself for some probing and possibly inappropriate query. Something like, Ever have your heart broken? Or, Tell me your deepest fears. Or (worse), Ever been abused?
Where’s this going?
But instead, the “personal” question he poses is this…
“Do you ever write songs or anything?”
I swear, when he said that I nearly stood up in the theater and cheered. To the annoyance of my two fellow movie-watchers, no doubt. So I didn’t. But I felt it.
At first you might think, Wait, what? That’s your personal question? Please! That’s about as personal as “What’s your favorite color?” I thought you were going to get probing and inappropriate. Instead you asked something that feels like a standard question on a form somebody’s filling out to apply for an entry-level position at a recording studio.
But no. He was right. It was a personal question. And if you’ve ever written your own songs and then performed them (especially in front of perfect strangers) then you know just how personal it was. (I even wondered, the screenwriter who wrote that line, is that person a songwriter too? Is that how they knew?)
It was a personal question.
Not in the sense that it was inappropriate. Not at all.
But in the sense that writing and performing your own material can be intensely self-revealing.
Even songs I’ve written that are light and comedic (and yeah, I’ve written several of those), but especially the ones that are somewhat weighty and sentimental—to express yourself in the combination of music and poetry that you’ve created, and then to hear yourself playing and singing it, and then to get up in front of other people so that they hear it too… Yeah, that’s very personal.
I’ll admit it: more than once in the process of writing a song I’ve been reduced to tears. Usually the first time I hear myself singing my own words in my own voice to music that I came up with (even if the chord pattern is nothing new, and let’s face it, it’s never new), that’s when it washes over me. That’s when it hits me that I’ve found a way to say something I deeply needed to say.
And not only that, but it might also be a moment when I realize just how deep was the need to say this…and I never knew it. Not until now. And so I weep.
The lesson to learn from all this is that songwriting isn’t just a matter of revealing and fearful self-expression. It’s more than that. It can also be a matter of surprising and healing self-discovery. In other words, it’s not just that I’m putting myself out there (though that’s true); it’s also that I’m getting to know myself better in the process, which only makes the self-expression more true and more valuable.
Personal question?
You bet it was.
And I’m so glad he asked it.