You know that moment when you’re walking down a sidewalk and you happen to look over (or maybe you don’t “happen to,” maybe you look over deliberately) and you catch a glimpse of your profile in a store window reflection and you realize what you look like while you’re walking, and by “what you look like” I mean “how shabby and unsightly your posture is”?
Yeah, that’s never happened to me.
[Insert “eye roll” emoji here.]
True confessions: that’s been my experience. Many times.
It’s even become something of a running joke in our family. I’ll look over and notice and groan and say something about how I need to improve my posture, and so I immediately bend wayyy over backward as I keep walking to make it look like I’m trying to straighten up in the most exaggerated way so that my kids are mortified in public. (Again, this is my calling as a father. To embarrass them. And I relish my calling. Someday they’ll thank me. And do it to their kids. Tradition!)
Seriously, though, it does bother me whenever I catch one of those glimpses. And that’s when it occurs to me (again) that what I really need is to find a way to improve my posture so that I walk better naturally, un-self-consciously. It’s fun to make a point of it in those moments in a way that makes my children laugh (or hide), but the reality is, a few moments later I’m back to walking the same as before. And we all know it.
A few years ago I took a yoga class, which met weekly on Monday nights, and I do think it made a difference. I did find during those weeks that I seemed to carry myself differently without having to think about it. But it didn’t last.
The good news here at the tail end of April 2021 is that it looks like this really is beginning to change in a way that’s deep and abiding. I’ve noticed that lately I do seem to be walking better, straighter, taller, without having to think about it. The daily morning walk has made a difference, as has the comprehensive slowing-down campaign, as have the phrases and gestures I’ve resorted to in an effort to cultivate better mindsets and body-sets. If I can get to the point that walking tall feels better (for any number of reasons), then I’ll naturally do it. And then the glimpses I get in store window reflections will become pleasant surprises. (“Wait, is that me?!”) I do think it’s starting to show. Which is great.
One further point of reflection…
It struck me a few years ago (and this is one of the reasons why I’ve wanted to turn this corner) that the way I walk is a metaphor for the way I live. I go through my day hunched over, looking down, curved in on myself, self-absorbed, lacking confidence, lacking awareness of others. And it’s more than a metaphor. As I’ve mentioned before, there’s a relationship between body and mind. It’s not just that my poor walking is a picture of poor living: it’s also that the one positively reinforces the other. The physical reinforces (either happily or regrettably) the mental and emotional, and vice versa.
So let’s see if we can keep walking better, straight and tall and alert, and let’s see if that helps lead to living better, more lovingly, more confidently.
I’d love to look in the mirror and see that.
***
Epilogue…
I’ve realized the same is true of my guitar-playing posture! Ugh. When I become aware as I’m playing that I’m hunched over and loose, I sit up and tighten up…and then promptly forget all about it a few bars later. Maybe I can make headway here too! 😊